TV's Papa Rest in Peace August 18 2009

TV's Papa - God Bless his soul
How fleeting life can be....

I vaguely remember answering the phone at 4:20am.

I had just sent off the final rundown for I Love Music and then the phone call... wondering who would call at this hour? Picked up the phone, no sound, I said hello? Hello? ' Mom.... Papa just died...' Even before TV said 'just died' I knew... there is no explanation... 'he died two hours ago'....

I think I woke up two hours before to write the rundown... I was so tired around 11ish that I couldn't stay awake to do the rundown, so I slept. I had not planned to wake up at that hour, nor thought about doing the rundown at that time....

Yes, I am sad.

Someone from my past has died... that someone was my daughter's father. Father of my firstborn.

That part of my life seems like a blur... even though TV is here, even though Peter is her father, even though he died, it all seems so distant and yet....

I don't want to think of deja vu. but if that is the way to describe it, then it is... I thought I had heard TV say those words before 'Papa just died' ... or is it my imagination? I will never know, maybe it's shock, maybe it was deja vu. It doesn't matter, Peter is gone. I feel so sad for TV.

I want so much to be there for her, to hold her, to let her know she is not alone. That her Mommy loves her so much. Her sisters and Andreas loves her so much!

But I am glad she is there. Near her father and family. Peter always loved TV the most. And I am grateful and glad she was there with him. I am thankful she knows her Papa.

God Bless Peter and his family. God Bless his soul, his spirit and I thank God for having TV.

No matter what has happened in the past, all is forgiven.

Life is precious and most of all, it is so important to not judge how someone wants to live, to be able to love is very powerful. Peter loved TV so much. I am happy he was her Papa.